We Can Do Hard Things

Life is inherently hard

Embracing the reality that life is inherently difficult is a central theme. The book encourages readers to move away from the expectation of constant happiness and instead accept that challenges, pain, and discomfort are unavoidable parts of the human experience. This acceptance allows for a more authentic and resilient approach to life, fostering the ability to navigate hardships with greater self-compassion and understanding. By acknowledging the presence of hard things, individuals can develop the strength and courage to face them head-on, rather than being paralyzed by the fear of imperfection or suffering.

Trusting your inner voice

The book emphasizes the importance of identifying and listening to one's inner voice or intuition. Often, societal expectations, external pressures, and ingrained beliefs can drown out this inner wisdom, leading individuals to make choices that are not aligned with their true selves. "We Can Do Hard Things" encourages readers to cultivate self-awareness, practice mindfulness, and create space for introspection in order to reconnect with their authentic desires and needs. This process of self-discovery empowers individuals to make decisions that are true to themselves, even when those decisions are difficult or unconventional.

Rejecting the 'Good Girl' ideal

A core message is the liberation that comes from releasing the need to be 'good' or 'perfect' according to societal standards. The book challenges the expectations placed on women, in particular, to be selfless, compliant, and always pleasing to others. It advocates for embracing imperfection, making mistakes, and prioritizing one's own well-being. By rejecting the pursuit of external validation, individuals can free themselves from the constraints of societal norms and expectations, allowing them to live more authentically and pursue their own goals and desires without guilt or shame.

Vulnerability as strength

The book strongly promotes the power of vulnerability and authenticity in building genuine connections with others. It encourages readers to share their true selves, including their struggles, fears, and imperfections, rather than presenting a carefully curated image of perfection. By being vulnerable, individuals create space for empathy, understanding, and deeper relationships. Sharing hard experiences can foster a sense of community and reduce feelings of isolation. Authenticity also allows for more meaningful communication and a stronger sense of belonging.

Challenging limiting beliefs

Breaking free from limiting beliefs and societal conditioning is a significant theme. The book explores how deeply ingrained beliefs about oneself, relationships, and the world can hold individuals back from living their fullest potential. It encourages readers to challenge these beliefs, question their validity, and replace them with more empowering and self-affirming narratives. This process of deconstruction and reconstruction allows for personal growth, increased self-confidence, and the courage to pursue dreams and goals that once seemed unattainable. It's about creating a life based on personal truth rather than inherited limitations.

Setting boundaries for self-care

The book underscores the importance of setting boundaries as an act of self-love and self-preservation. Learning to say 'no' to requests or demands that compromise one's well-being is essential for maintaining healthy relationships and preventing burnout. Boundaries protect one's time, energy, and emotional resources, allowing individuals to prioritize their own needs and goals. The book provides practical advice on how to establish and communicate boundaries effectively, even when it feels uncomfortable or goes against societal expectations of being accommodating or selfless.

The power of female connection

Finding strength and solidarity in female friendships and communities is a recurring theme. The book highlights the importance of surrounding oneself with supportive and empowering women who understand and validate one's experiences. These relationships provide a space for sharing, learning, and mutual support, helping individuals to navigate challenges and celebrate successes. The power of female connection lies in its ability to foster a sense of belonging, reduce feelings of isolation, and amplify individual voices.

Listening to your pain

The book explores the concept of pain as a signal and teacher, rather than something to be avoided at all costs. It encourages readers to listen to their pain, both physical and emotional, and to use it as a guide for understanding their needs and making necessary changes in their lives. Avoiding or numbing pain can lead to stagnation and a disconnection from one's true self. Embracing pain as a part of the human experience allows for growth, healing, and a deeper appreciation for the joys of life.

Living a 'Brutiful Life'

The concept of creating a 'Brutiful Life', which means embracing both the brutal and the beautiful aspects of life. This perspective encourages readers to accept that life is not always easy or perfect, but it is always worth living. It's about finding joy and gratitude even in the midst of hardship, and recognizing that the combination of both joy and pain creates a rich and meaningful existence. By embracing the 'Brutiful Life', individuals can develop resilience, cultivate hope, and appreciate the present moment.