Why Men Love Bitches
Sherry Argov
About this book
Tired of being "too nice?" Discover the secret to attracting and keeping the man you desire. Why Men Love Bitches offers a refreshingly honest guide to understanding what truly draws men to women.
Bestselling author Sherry Argov reveals why strength and independence are more alluring than constant agreeableness. Packed with real-life scenarios, "He Says/She Thinks" tables, and Argov's signature "Attraction Principles," this book provides the answers you need to:
- Understand why men lose interest after the initial chase.
- Stop being taken for granted and start commanding respect.
- Discover the power of a confident, self-respecting attitude.
Learn how to stand your ground, embrace your inner "bitch," and transform yourself from a doormat to a dream girl. Increase the chemistry, gain his love and respect, and achieve the relationship you deserve—all while staying true to yourself.
Summary of Key Ideas
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Embrace Your Inner Strength
The core message of "Why Men Love Bitches" is not to literally become a 'bitch' in the negative sense, but rather to cultivate inner strength, independence, and self-respect. It's about transforming from a doormat into a confident woman who knows her worth and isn't afraid to assert her needs and boundaries. This involves prioritizing oneself and not seeking constant validation from men. The book argues that men are more attracted to women who possess these qualities because they exude confidence and don't appear desperate for male attention. It's a call for women to value themselves first, understanding that this self-assurance is what ultimately draws men closer.
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Don't Be Too Available
A central tenet of Argov's philosophy is that women should avoid being overly accommodating or readily available to men. The book suggests that constant eagerness can diminish a woman's perceived value and create an imbalance in the relationship dynamic. Instead, it advocates for maintaining a sense of mystery and independence, showing that one's life doesn't revolve solely around the man. This doesn't mean playing games, but rather ensuring that personal interests, friendships, and goals remain a priority. By not always being at a man's beck and call, a woman maintains her allure and avoids being taken for granted.
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Master the Art of Assertiveness
Assertiveness is portrayed as a crucial trait. This involves expressing needs and opinions clearly and confidently, without resorting to nagging or passive-aggressive behavior. The book encourages women to voice their desires and boundaries directly, rather than expecting men to read their minds. This open communication fosters mutual respect and understanding, preventing resentment from building up over time. Assertiveness also means standing up for oneself and refusing to tolerate disrespectful behavior, reinforcing the message that one's own well-being and self-respect are paramount.
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Cultivate Independence
The book emphasizes the importance of maintaining independence, both emotionally and financially. Women should have their own hobbies, interests, and social circles, separate from their romantic relationships. This prevents them from becoming overly dependent on their partner for happiness and fulfillment. Financial independence is also highlighted as a key factor in empowering women to make their own choices and not feel trapped in unhealthy relationships. By cultivating a strong sense of self and self-sufficiency, women can enter relationships from a position of strength and equality.
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Prioritize Self-Respect
Self-respect is presented as the foundation for healthy relationships. The book urges women to prioritize their own needs and values, and to refuse to compromise their integrity for the sake of a relationship. This involves setting clear boundaries and enforcing them consistently, ensuring that they are treated with respect and consideration. Self-respect also means having the courage to walk away from relationships that are damaging or unfulfilling, rather than settling for less than they deserve. By valuing themselves highly, women attract partners who will do the same.
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Seek Internal Validation
The book discourages women from seeking constant validation from men. It argues that relying on external approval for self-worth is a recipe for unhappiness and can lead to manipulative behavior. Instead, women should cultivate internal validation by focusing on their strengths, accomplishments, and personal growth. This involves building self-confidence and developing a strong sense of self-worth that is not dependent on male attention or approval. By validating themselves from within, women become more resilient and less vulnerable to manipulation.
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Understand Male Psychology
Argov stresses the importance of understanding male psychology. She argues that men are naturally drawn to women who present a challenge and who are not easily won over. This doesn't mean playing manipulative games, but rather understanding that men appreciate women who have their own lives, goals, and opinions. The book provides insights into the male mindset, helping women to navigate relationships with greater understanding and awareness. By understanding what men find attractive, women can avoid common pitfalls and build stronger, more fulfilling connections.
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Embrace Playfulness
A key aspect is maintaining a playful and lighthearted attitude. The book advises against taking oneself or the relationship too seriously, encouraging women to embrace their sense of humor and enjoy the moment. This involves being spontaneous, adventurous, and not afraid to laugh at themselves. A playful attitude creates a more relaxed and enjoyable dynamic, making the woman more attractive and engaging. It also helps to diffuse tension and resolve conflicts more easily, fostering a healthier and more harmonious relationship.
Chapter Recap
About The Author
Sherry Argov
Sherry Argov is a French-born American author. She is the author of the books Why Men Love Bitches and Why Men Marry Bitches. Both books are New York Times bestsellers. Argov's work has been featured on national television shows such as The Today Show, The View, and Fox News Channel. (<a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sherry_Argov">Source</a>)
Main Quotes
"He must feel that you choose to be with him, not that you need to be with him."
"Anytime a woman competes with another woman, she demeans herself."
"Truly powerful people don't explain why they want respect. They simply don't engage someone who doesn't give it to them."
"The bitch is very nice. She is as sweet as a Georgia peach. But inside every sweet peach is a strong pit."
"One of the things women have to get out of their minds is the notion of what a bitch is. A bitch is nice."
"A bitch is more selective about her availability. She's available sometimes; other times she's not. But she's nice."
"Men often automatically assume that a bitchier woman will be more assertive in bed, and that a nice girl will be more timid."
"Once you start laughing, you start healing."
"If a man isn't being nice when you're out, all you have to do is remain polite and then go home early. The bitch does not stop moving to hear his apology."
"There is no such thing as a “perfect time” in life. Life is full of opportunities. However, they are easily missed when one sits around waiting for the ideal moment to present itself."
Who Should Read This Book
Women seeking to understand and improve their dating and romantic relationships
Women who want to be more assertive and confident in their interactions with men
Women who feel they are "too nice" and want to avoid being taken advantage of in relationships
Women interested in self-help and relationship advice from a female perspective
Younger women navigating the complexities of modern dating
Readers of relationship advice books and self-improvement guides
Book Summaries Like
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